Life is all about balance. The balance of time: work and rest. Money: income and outgoings. Food: nourishment and treats. It took me until midlife to realise how uneven my own scales had become across all aspects of my life.
For years, I gave more to others than I gave to myself. My comfort zone was showing up, staying late, helping out, being available. I offered my time and energy freely to colleagues, friends and family, yet didn’t show myself the same compassion or gratitude.
I believed this made me a better employee, a better friend, a better person. The narrative in my head was that I was stronger and more resourceful if I gave but didn’t take; that resilience came from pushing through, not pausing. This is often jovially referred to as ‘mum guilt’, when we feel bad for making time for ourselves.
Inevitably, that way of living catches up with you. Burnout and fatigue aren’t dramatic arrivals, they visit quietly.
After an unexpected divorce I questioned the value I’d put on my time, why I’d given it so freely to others before myself.
I learned the hard way that self care isn’t selfish, it’s essential. The saying ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’ rang loudly in my ears.
Divorce didn’t break me, it introduced me to myself.
The woman I became afterwards was stronger, but also quieter. More intentional.
One of the simplest yet most powerful shifts I made was creating a list of fifty things to do before I turned 50. It sounds small, but it reset something in my brain. It gave me permission to prioritise fun, activities and time for myself over anything else.
If anyone asked “What are you doing this weekend?” my standard response would have been “I have plans but can cancel if you need me,”
With the list it became a definitive “I’m ticking something off my list’” No questions. No amendments. No cancellations.
Slowly, the internal narrative changed. I finally realised this was something I needed.
After a year of rebalancing my time, I’ve turned my focus to my body. Working from home had left me static, skipping meals until mid-afternoon then unhealthy snacking the rest of the day. Middle-aged spread had crept in and shifting it felt harder than ever.
So I booked an appointment at the Elevate Clinic in Cardiff and embarked on a journey to a healthier body. Six months on I have dropped two dress sizes and make much healthier food choices. And, more importantly, feel reconnected to my body rather than at war with it.
Balance isn’t about perfection, it’s about noticing when the scales tip too far in one direction taking the time and effort to gently adjust them.
Early February marks end of the Year of the Snake, a time to shed what no longer fits. Old habits, outdated expectations, versions of ourselves that have been stretched too thin. From mid February the Year of the Horse brings a different energy altogether: forward-moving, purposeful, quietly powerful.
As this season invites reflection and renewal, I’m learning that living well isn’t about doing more, it’s about choosing better. Better boundaries. Better nourishment. Better ways of spending the one thing we never get back: our time.
And that, for me, is what balance finally looks like.
