As we are entering the festive season you may feel like you’re starting to argue a lot more with the people you love and care about, whether that be your partner, friends or family members. Arguments can make us feel disconnected and you tend to feel a lot more pressure when it happens around the Christmas period, Christmas is about being brought together but this isn’t always the case, the festive season can bring up emotions and can lead to arguments and tension. We have had a look at some things you and your loved ones can do to help with those tense disagreements that are happening during the festive period.
How to cope with relationships at Christmas –
Being at home for Christmas can be stressful and put a massive strain on relationships, you may feel more argumentative or irritable than usual, fortunately there are things you can try to do to keep your sanity.
Tips for coping with the tension –
- Create a tidy and cosy area for yourself – This may be your bedroom or a corner of the living room, make sure you keep this area tidy and clean to create a nice safe space to escape too when you feel tension building and need some me time.
- Give each other space – Your partner may want to talk to their friends, or your mum may want a peaceful bath and you need to accept this, you may be all at home together but that does not mean you need to spend every hour with each other.
- Do nice things for each other – Make your partner dinner, or help your sibling wrap Christmas presents, being kind to your family doesn’t cost a penny and will reduce a lot of tension.
- Discuss how you are feeling – Felling anxious, worried or upset, talk about it with your loved ones around you, this will help you to feel better and bring your family together more.
- Address conflict – if you feel like conflict is forming, address it straight away. Bring it up to your loved ones calmly to avoid conflict escalating.
- Normalise the arguments – It is normal and sometimes even healthy to get on each other’s nerves, especially when you’re spending a lot of time together. Rather than overthinking the argument sometimes it is better to argue more and get all the tension out of you.
Our advice –
Spending Christmas with your family –
- Make a rota for jobs around the house, it people have set days for cooking or cleaning, there will be less room to argue about whose turn it is.
- Enjoy the time together, it may not all be perfect, but this is a great opportunity for you to spend some quality time with your family.
- Accept the fact that you are not all going to agree on everything and that disagreements are okay.
Spending Christmas with your partner –
- Having a date night is a perfect opportunity to spend some quality time together, getting dressed up, cooking a meal, or ordering a takeaway and creating a new kind of date night is a great way to avoid any conflict.
- Squeezing in some me time is very important for your relationship, go for daily exercise by yourself, or talk to your friends and basically try not to spend all your time together.
- Getting more intimate is a great way to pass time, this is the perfect opportunity for you and your partner to discuss your intimacy and figure out what you both enjoy.
How to care for relationships when you are apart for Christmas –
We have discussed relationships that are constantly together during the festive season, but it is also important to discuss relationships that are apart for the festive season. During the festive season you are probably seeing couples spending all this time together and missing your partner like crazy, you may also be worried that the distance you are having from your friends during this period will affect your friendships.
I am missing my partner –
Try to treat this time apart like a long-distance relationship and remember that you will not be apart forever, FaceTime regularly, and remember that if your relationship can survive this difficulty period apart, it can survive anything!
What does this mean for my friendships –
To be honest, missing your friends is not fun, but it is important to think about how amazing it will be when you can hang out again. Keeping in touch regularly via social media and group facetime calls is a great way to still feel close to your friends, you can create fun activities for your weekly/daily meetups. Try having a karaoke night, or a painting competition.
How to cope with spending Christmas alone –
Being alone for Christmas comes with a lot of emotions, this is a time where we are ‘supposed’ to be spending time with our loved ones, but having a solo Christmas is not a bad thing. In fact, there are many things you can be doing to celebrate the day alone.
- Treat yourself to your favourite food, this could even be going against Christmas tradition and having an Italian.
- Plan a Christmas movie marathon, the perfect time to watch your favourite Christmas movies without being disturbed.
- Do some local volunteering at a care home or a homeless shelter to help others this Christmas.
- Go for a long walk and appreciate the alone time
